My buddy who moved to Whidbey Island called... we had a good palaver. I think that he forgets that, although I'm almost young enough to be his son, I've been clean for a fair while...
So, he mentioned that he hasn't met many people who stayed clean for any appreciable time (a few years) who weren't court-ordered.
"uh, you're talking to one."
But, he's right, in that there aren't a lot of guys who are sober who weren't involved with an employer, spouse, or the legal system. Not many of us get recovery just because our life sucks.
Here's a hint: it's because we're pussies. We wuss out before someone makes us quit.
All kidding aside, I've wondered why the hell I stuck with it at first. I only had the one friend who was going to meetings, and he had to to stay out of jail. None of my other friends were supportive (well, not initially) of this.
When my mom heard that it was a spiritual program, she was sure it was a cult. Or a bunch of hippies. Either way, although she didn't want me to keep using, she was less than ecstatic. Basically, she was of the opinion that if I needed a spiritual experience, the Catholic church was the place to go. End of discussion.
My father was considerably less supportive. In fact, the proper term would probably be antagonistic. He wanted me to "man up" and exercise my willpower. He'd seen those drunks in AA meetings, and was there to tell me that they were a sorry bunch of losers who couldn't stay sober.
I remember getting a letter from him while we were on opposite sides of the Pacific (literally, as well as figuratively). He wrote something to the effect that "the world doesn't work the same way as your AA program", and that I'd best get on with my life and leave that foolishness behind.
But, maybe that's why I stuck with it; nobody told me to do it, almost everybody in my life told me not to get involved with twelve step programs, and a bunch of the people in 'em (well, basically some members in Marijuana Anonymous) wanted to run me out.
I may not be quite as full of 'piss and vinegar' as I was half a lifetime ago, but I still have a strong "oh yeah" streak.
Sitting with my mom the other day, she had Fox News on. Every single commercial break had one or more (sometimes three) ads for gold*.
Why? Well, because somebody wants to sell, of course. But, if they don't want to hold that investment, why the hell should I? So, I called a friend who's an investment banker, to ask that very question.
"You're a natural contrarian," he said. Which in the world of investment, isn't a value judgment; it just means that you don't jump to drink the Kool Aid.
Well, in my case, being 'contrarian' may go beyond just questioning the status quo. Believe me: way, way beyond.
And sometimes, that works out well for me.
-M
*As it turns out, this may not be such a horrid time to buy gold; the large - as in giant conglomerates, and national governments - investors had bought heavily in the 1970's when the price rose sharply; it has risen to a good point for them to liquidate some of that investment without taking a loss. However, he also told me that, as a private investor, selling gold is very, very expensive. Like thirty cents on the dollar expensive. Ouch!
So, he mentioned that he hasn't met many people who stayed clean for any appreciable time (a few years) who weren't court-ordered.
"uh, you're talking to one."
But, he's right, in that there aren't a lot of guys who are sober who weren't involved with an employer, spouse, or the legal system. Not many of us get recovery just because our life sucks.
Here's a hint: it's because we're pussies. We wuss out before someone makes us quit.
All kidding aside, I've wondered why the hell I stuck with it at first. I only had the one friend who was going to meetings, and he had to to stay out of jail. None of my other friends were supportive (well, not initially) of this.
When my mom heard that it was a spiritual program, she was sure it was a cult. Or a bunch of hippies. Either way, although she didn't want me to keep using, she was less than ecstatic. Basically, she was of the opinion that if I needed a spiritual experience, the Catholic church was the place to go. End of discussion.
My father was considerably less supportive. In fact, the proper term would probably be antagonistic. He wanted me to "man up" and exercise my willpower. He'd seen those drunks in AA meetings, and was there to tell me that they were a sorry bunch of losers who couldn't stay sober.
I remember getting a letter from him while we were on opposite sides of the Pacific (literally, as well as figuratively). He wrote something to the effect that "the world doesn't work the same way as your AA program", and that I'd best get on with my life and leave that foolishness behind.
But, maybe that's why I stuck with it; nobody told me to do it, almost everybody in my life told me not to get involved with twelve step programs, and a bunch of the people in 'em (well, basically some members in Marijuana Anonymous) wanted to run me out.
I may not be quite as full of 'piss and vinegar' as I was half a lifetime ago, but I still have a strong "oh yeah" streak.
Sitting with my mom the other day, she had Fox News on. Every single commercial break had one or more (sometimes three) ads for gold*.
Why? Well, because somebody wants to sell, of course. But, if they don't want to hold that investment, why the hell should I? So, I called a friend who's an investment banker, to ask that very question.
"You're a natural contrarian," he said. Which in the world of investment, isn't a value judgment; it just means that you don't jump to drink the Kool Aid.
Well, in my case, being 'contrarian' may go beyond just questioning the status quo. Believe me: way, way beyond.
And sometimes, that works out well for me.
-M
*As it turns out, this may not be such a horrid time to buy gold; the large - as in giant conglomerates, and national governments - investors had bought heavily in the 1970's when the price rose sharply; it has risen to a good point for them to liquidate some of that investment without taking a loss. However, he also told me that, as a private investor, selling gold is very, very expensive. Like thirty cents on the dollar expensive. Ouch!
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