MSA was started in Seattle by a couple of guys in treatment. They were bitching to their sponsor that they couldn't relate to the stories they heard in twelve step meetings. They were both really just potheads; not drunks, not junkies. They couldn't relate to stories of week-long blackouts, sharing rigs with strangers, and some of the other stuff they heard. And, they were tired of hearing, "pffft... pot isn't addictive."
As a reward for complaining, their sponsor told them to start a new kind of meeting; one for marijuana smokers.
So, these two guys started a meeting. Nine months later, when I showed up, it had grown to three meetings a week. They were both held at churches that hosted a number of AA and NA meetings.
One of these guys was a cabbie; an older guy (older compared to twenty-one, that is... which probably put him in his thirties or maybe even forty years old) with long, brown hair, and a mustache. The other was a red-haired guy. Seems to me he was involved in the maritime industry somehow; either a sailor or boat mechanic or something. By the time I met them, they'd become involved in a clean-and-sober house a couple blocks off Market in Ballard.
Anyway, the cabbie and I didn't really hit it off too well at first. We'd pretty much just glare at each other; we just didn't play nice together.
Remember, I tended to piss people off a lot back then, and get pissed off myself. To this day, I'm still one of those guys that people either like or don't. Hopefully, I'm a little more likable nowadays.
One day the cabbie invited me to come over to his house to watch the football game. Probably the season opener. I could tell that he really wasn't too excited about the idea; I suspected someone'd put him up to it. To this day, I'm fairly sure of it.
But, I decided I'd go. I figured that if he was going to throw out an olive branch, that I'd be a man about it and be cool. Anyway, if he started acting like a jerk, I could have a good laugh at the fact that it was because he was irritated by my presence in his living room - which could be amusing, since he'd invited me. Hell, it was a win-win.
So, I showed up a while before kickoff. I think he was a little surprised that I showed. But, he was being pretty gracious, and I figured that I'd be a real asshole if I wasn't pleasant back to him.
I can't recall much of what we talked about that day, apart from his regaling me with tales of driving a cab owned by a guy too cheap to fix the seat (leaving my friend to have to sit on a phone book), and people jumping out of the cab without paying. I've got no idea who was playing, what the score was, or if the halftime show was any good. There are only two things that stick out in my memory about that day. First, our intrepid cabbie's friend and MSA co-founder had a corking cold; sat bundled up in a chair drinking coffee, and looked miserable for the entire game. And that I left there really happy that I'd gone. Whatever hard feelings there had been between us were gone.
At the next meeting, people were surprised to see the two of us hanging out, chatting it up like old friends.
Growing up, I'd always been a guy who was quick to take offense, and damned slow to set a perfectly good grudge down - no matter how insignificant the cause may be. But, this was a real lesson. Since then, I've tried to keep an open mind about people, even if they don't make a really good first impression.
Granted, there are always going to be those who we aren't going to get along with, and those who are untrustworthy. We have instincts for a reason; I'm not saying that I think it's a good idea to let sketchy, shady, or abusive people into our lives. I'm just saying that I've found it beneficial to try not to jump to snap judgments of people. Like they say in meetings, "principles before personalities".
-M
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