Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Twelve Steps... how did I ever get here?

So, you may be wondering:  who is this "Mahatmaganja" guy; why is he blogging about recovery, and why did he get into it in the first place?

Well, it's pretty simple.  Taking drugs quit working.  But, it didn't quit happening.

I once heard prison described as:  "sex whenever you want it... and sex whenever you don't."

That's what smoking weed was like for me.  I got high whenever I wanted to, and whenever I didn't.

The fact that every time I got high, I sat and thought about how my life was going nowhere - due to smoking pot - didn't slow me down a bit.  Every weekend, I planned how I was going to take care of stuff during the week; leaving this weekend free to party. 

Every weekday morning, I would think about how I didn't want to smoke any weed that day... not forever, mind you; just for a day or two.  That I'd take a short break and get my head together.  But, every afternoon, I'd have "changed my mind", because - what the fuck - I could always do all that stuff tomorrow.

(at this point, you can cue the music from Annie"...tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya', tomorrow; you're always a day away...")

A friend of mine had been court ordered to go to treatment, and had to get a slip signed at twelve step meetings.  And on one Saturday night, he asked me for a ride to one, where I did a little accidental listening.

And that's how I got started... well that's the Reader's Digest version of the story.

-M

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